Global Warming Hoax

I'm absolutely amazed that Anthropogenic Global Warming (AGW) is still blowing hot air. What's even more depressing, is that President Obama is still pushing his Cap & Trade initiative at a cost of around $200 billion/year. (How many jobs does that equate to?)

What will it take to finally put an end to this AGW hoax? It's interesting to note it took scientist 40 years to finally expose the Piltdown Man Hoax was actually derived from the jawbone of a pig.

The way this AGW hoax is going, I wouldn't be surprised if it took 40 years to expose the AGW hoax was actually derived from the jawbones of two asses (Al Gore & Dr. Mann)

I have absolutely no problem with the fact that the earth is going through a period of natural global warming (NGW). No one is contesting that. My huge problem is with the "A" part of the AGW hoax.

Ok, let's go over the various problems with the AGW "theory".

1) Carbon Dioxide Levels Are Rising!!! (or Plop Plop Fizz Fizz, oh what a belief it is.)

Yes, CO2 is a greenhouse gas, however, it is in minuscule amounts to the tune of 385 parts per million (ppm). Most of the earth's atmosphere is comprised of Nitrogen (78%) Oxygen (21%) and Argon (about 1%) and then a whole bunch of other trace gases.

To get an idea of just how small the 385ppm is, imagine a soccer stadium filled with 100,000 screaming spectators. Total CO2 levels would represent a whopping 38.5 people out of 100,000 people--an insignificant amount.

But it even gets better.... Man-made CO2 only accounts for about 7% of total atmospheric CO2, so the man-made portion of this already insignificant number drops down to, are you ready for it... 2.7 people in a stadium of 100,000 people... Smile for the TV cameras, CO2--HI MOM!!

There is more. As mentioned earlier, CO2 is a greenhouse gas, however, it has a relatively weak greenhouse effect. Measuring the greenhouse effect by using Atomic Absorption Spectroscopy, CO2 absorbs roughly 8% of the infrared electromagnetic spectrum in the frequency range of 15 micrometers. So take that infinitesimal amount of CO2 described above multiply that by the potential amount of heat energy that CO2 can absorb and you get an idea of just how little man-made CO2 contributes to the overall greenhouse effect.

It gets even worse. The main greenhouse gas on our planet is water vapor. Water vapor has a very strong greenhouse gas effect (roughly 850% stronger than CO2) that absorbs roughly 60% of the infrared spectrum including the frequency absorbed by CO2. Furthermore, there is significantly more water vapor in the air than yearly man-made CO2 to the tune of, wait for it.. 2,100,000,000%.... Oh no, tell me ain't so.

Isn't it funny that Al Gore forgot to mention this fact in "An Inconvenient Truth". Al must have just forgotten.

But what about the greenhouse gas Methane, you ask? Well, CH4 actually absorbs less infrared energy than CO2 and there is only a total of around 1.4ppm or 99.6% less than CO2 and almost all that is produced by nature. You do the math.

2) As CO2 rises, Global Temperatures Rise!!! (or Tree Rings Cause Global Warming!!!)

If CO2 is such an insignificant greenhouse gas, then why are CO2 levels rising in tandem with global warming? A good question. The answer is a chemical phenomenon called outgassing. This is a chemical property of gas suspended in either water or soil where more CO2 is released the hotter the gas-filled medium gets. It also works in reverse. The colder a suspension gets, the less CO2 is released.

Accordingly, rising CO2 levels aren't a CAUSE of global warming it is simply an EFFECT of global warming. Funny that ol' Al Gore left this out of his presentation, too...

It's kind of like saying since tree rings get thicker during global warming, thicker tree rings cause global warming. Well, not so much.

3) But ice core samples show CO2 and Global Temperatures are related!!! (or Houston, We Have a Problem....)

But what about the ice core samples? Surely they definitively prove that historic CO2 rises cause global warming, Al Gore said so!!! Nope. Wait for it.... They definitively prove the complete opposite. Ice core samples are probably the strongest evidence AGAINST AGW because they show a significant lag between the time global temperatures start to rise and when CO2 levels start to rise.

By that I mean ice core samples clearly show that when global temperatures initially start to increase, CO2 levels are actually still falling and when global temperatures initially start to fall, CO2 levels are actually still rising.... Eventually CO2 levels start to loosely track rises and falls of global temperatures after the initial lag due to the outgassing phenomenon, but ice core samples definitely prove that factors other than atmospheric CO2 concentrations CAUSE global temperature fluctuations. Fluctuating CO2 levels simply rise and fall as a lagging EFFECT of global temperatures due to the outgassing phenomenon.

Polar Ice Extents are SHRINKING!!! (or It's Cool to be Wrong.)

But what about shrinking Arctic and Antarctic ice extents? Doesn't this prove global warming will eventually flood the earth? Not so much. On April 04, 2010, the Arctic ice extent reached its highest level in 31 years and Antarctic ice extent is also growing.

Excuse me, but aren't CO2 levels still rising? AGW enviro-nazis are falling all over themselves trying to explain this away, saying that growing ice extents in both poles is somehow additional proof that AGW is actually getting worse... I'm not kidding.

AGW "scientist" are actually saying that when pole ice extents shrink, it proves AGW (I can follow that logic) and when they suddenly hit 31 year highs, it also proves AGW. (HUH?).

These "scientist" are absolutely insane, but it is kind of fun watching them squirm trying to come up with really cool theories to defend the indefensible.

The Hockey Stick Graph Shows We're All Going to Die!!! (or Why is my Head Exploding?)

Dr. Mann's infamous Hockey Stick Graph is what made me initially question the AGW theory. This is the graph that Al Gore used in the "An Inconvenient Truth" that basically showed global temperatures were flat from 1400 to 1900 and then suddenly rose sharply from around 1900 to the present.

This stupid Hockey Stick Graph pretty much started the whole AGW Hoax, or at least gave it legs.

There are just a few minor problems with this graph... First of all, it has now been proven by Dr. Timothy McIntyre that Dr. Mann's Hockey Stick graph was completely fabricated. After years of FOI (Freedom of Information) requests, Dr. McIntyre finally received the simulation program and raw data for the Hockey Stick graph for peer review.

Dr. McIntyre first ran a Monte Carlo test (random numbers are run through a simulation program to test for bugs) and found that any number, no matter how big or how small, would generate a similar looking Hockey Stick graph.

Such results of a Monte Carlo test can mean either two things: 1) There is an accidental bug in the program or 2) The simulation program has been purposefully tampered with.

When going through the actual computer program, Dr. McIntyre found numerous lines of code that were purposefully inserted to get a Hockey Stick looking graph. There were no bugs, it was contrived.

The reason Dr. Mann cooked the graph was that he needed to get rid of the 1400's Medieval Warming Period (not many cars back then), which was about as warm as it is now, and also get rid the mini-ice age in the 1700's. If these two climate periods were removed, then the graph would look down-right sinister and that was the whole purpose of making the bogus graph.

Dr. Mann is still under investigation by the Pennsylvania U. for his complicity in this hoax, however, it is very interesting to note that Dr. Mann recently received $500,000 in Obama stimulus funds for additional research.... Perhaps Dr. Mann is now working on a new Hockey Stick graph that shows President Obama's stimulus program is actually working!

This would make a great Saturday Night Live routine:

Obama (Holding the Progressive Hockey Stick Graph): And as you can clearly see from this graph, from 1776 to 2008, America's GDP growth was completely flat, but from the time I took office, America's economic growth has increased 15,247% thanks to my Job's Stimulus Bill, my redistribution of wealth initiative and the SEIU. YES WE CAN! (have fun with numbers).


Having Fun with Facts!!! (or Liar, Liar pants on Fire)

1) But hurricanes are growing in frequency and strength!!! No they aren't, they are at 100 year historic average levels.

2) But polar bears are dying because it's so warm in the Arctic!!! No they aren't. Polar populations are growing. In 1940, there were only about 5,000 polar bears left due to over hunting. Now there are over 25,000.

3) But tornado frequencies are rising!!! No they aren't, tornado frequencies have actually fallen over the past 50 years even with vastly improved detection devices.

4) But ocean levels are rising! New York City will be under 10 feet of water in 100 years!!! Well, for the past 150 years, ocean levels have been rising at 1.5mm per year. Man-made CO2 has got nothing to do with it. Thermal expansion of water explains most of it due to natural global warming. Melting glaciers account for the rest. Over the past 5 years, it looks like ocean rises are starting to taper off, but it's still too early to tell.

5) But Glaciers are shrinking!!! Yes, some are and some are actually growing. They've been shrinking since about 1820, way before extensive hydrocarbon use. Get used to it. When they start to grow quickly, it'll mean were entering another ice age, so be happy they are still shrinking and get a life.

6) But CO2 is pollution!!! No it's not. CO2 is essential for photosynthesis and the man-made increases of CO2 have actually increased plant growth around the world increasing timber, grain and fruit harvests. CO2 is a very beneficial gas to plant life and for easing global food shortages. I know the U.S. EPA recently announced CO2 was a pollutant, but that's simply insane and is being contested in court.

I want to make a bumper sticker that reads, "Save the trees, buy a Hummer"

So, if man-made CO2 isn't the cause for AGW, then why are global temperatures rising? Fluctuations in solar electromagnetic output, planetary oscillation, galactic cosmic radiation, vulcanism, shifting ocean currents, earth's orbit around the sun, water vapor, cloud cover, El Nino, La Nina, polar ice extents and all the interactions of all these factors contribute to both global warming and global cooling.

It's currently quite difficult to make long-term predictions of climate change, but studying geological proxy climate data, scientist know that solar fluctuations and global oscillation are the biggest drivers of long-term global temperatures.

The water vapor greenhouse gas effect is also very important for life on this planet. Without water vapor, Earth would be approximately 14.0 degrees Centigrade cooler than it is now. Without the effects of CO2 greenhouse gas, it would probably be about 14.01 degrees Centigrade cooler...

Another interesting fun fact is that one of the major advocates for AGW is Dr. James Hansen. Back in the mid 70's, he was a huge advocate for... wait for it... Anthropogenic Global Cooling! Oh, I do love it so. My head is getting ready to explode.

Another interesting fun thing to see is that AGW advocates are now starting to change their vocabulary (as is the media). Have you noticed that it is no longer called "Man-Made Global Warming" but is now called "Man-Made Climate Change"?

Given recent climate data (polar ice extent expanding hitting record levels, bitter cold winters in the Northern Hemisphere, leveling off of ocean rise, some glacier increases, no statistically significant global temperature rises since 1995, etc.) it seems that AGW scientist are starting to make the shift to advocating "Man-Made Global Cooling" again like they did in the 70's. I wouldn't put it past these idiots.

Start looking for new "scientific" research in the news about the "alarming rise of man-made particulate matter!!!" in the atmosphere caused by industrial pollution. When you start seeing articles about this new "man-made disaster", you'll know the AGW Hoax will then change to the AGC Hoax.

Just so the scientist are consistent, if the world is starting to cool again, shouldn't the AGW scientists be pushing to INCREASE CO2 levels to offset global cooling? Just a thought.